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What it must be like...

 Have you ever wondered what it must be like to live every day in a fight or flight. Trauma is a scar you can see in the brain it does not go far. It blackens your soul, so you keep others away, always expecting them to be the same way. One flag, two flags, and more. Everyone has flags that's all you see anymore. I'm too scared to talk or walk away, so continue as you are as you know no other way. Be perfect. You know it's you that caused the fight today. If you just smile, grin and bear, make sure you have everything prepared. Don't ask where he was or why the bills haven't been paid. You know he is stressed you made him this way. Wait, no, what did I do? I asked a question I'm allowed to. No, you're not you, silly girl he told this all before you make him angry because you're such a bisch, and a whore. Remember, no feelings stare at the floor. Don't breathe too loud or seem scared he blamed you for that be prepared. Don't ask him to do the dish

A Dream

 I dream of a day where only Beauty lights the way. No darkness to fight, my chest no longer feeling tight. I dream of a day where I no longer feel this way, a day of happiness and laughter a day with no disaster. I dream of a day when my heart feels peace and it no longer feels difficult to move my feet. The burden is mine to hold, but this I can no longer do alone. I ask you, God, to take this pain. I give it to you to lead the way. Right, the path I've walked alone, hold my hand, and lead me home. Bring me to the light and stop this endless night. I feel your loving brace. I am not scared. I finally know my place. This beautiful place you created has been broken and made brutal. I ask you to hold me tall please God don't let me fall. This hurt and pain I can no longer carry. I ask you to ease my worry. I trust in you to lead the way no more fear, I ask as I pray. God above strong and mighty, I believe in all that you do, I ask you to help with your grace and just lead to hel